And I watch him and talk to him about how he works and what he thinks and I want to be like that.Right now I want to get him home and showered and shaved and naked.Oh yeah. Sex. Actually, with me and my Alan, it's NOT just sex. It's part of our life, our connection on so many levels, and I remember that first night when I crawled in HIS bed, it was what I wanted, but it was not some animal lust, because if THAT was what I wanted, I could've had it with any of a number of guys, starting with Jeff Jamison the night I went to Susan's for the first time.It just didn't seem right, like something I wanted to ever do, with any guy, not until I met Alan. And when I finally understood that I LOVED Alan, then it was something we were MADE to do.I mean, I KNEW about sex. Mom wasn't particularly careful about who she did or where she did 'im, and I have ears, so I heard HER. And I listen to the conversations at school, too, and I pay attention, and for that matter, I can READ, so I knew about. He looked up gratefully, drained his can and held out the empty. “Thanks, Em, that’d be just great. And listen... Thanks... Just thanks, yeah?” He grabbed my hand, gave it a squeeze and his voice caught in his throat as he opened his mouth to say something else. The words never came and instead he just gave a wan smile. “I won’t be too long,” I smiled, rubbing his slumped back. “Gonna check how my bath is doing. I'll back in a minute.” I hurried upstairs and went into the bathroom, pushing the door closed behind me. The water was perfect, a little cold water and I could slide right in. I turned off the hot tap, gave the bubbles a swirl and lit a couple of candles around the tiled room. I much preferred it to be dimly lit than to have the ceiling light glaring, plus there was just something atmospheric, romantic even, about reading by candlelight, especially when it was Austen, yet again. I went quietly towards our bedroom, to get my dressing gown, but then I decided I didn’t want to.
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